This is where we tackle those subjects most want to sweep under the carpet. Oh the politics!! Oh the religion!! Fuck it, I say. You can't keep holding your tongue, especially when there is entertainment value in it. (Insert generic statement that the views expressed here, may not necessarily be the views of this magazine or any person involved in it other than the writer, who shall for the time being be dubbed Roving Ranter #1, until he tells me what he wants to sign to this).
WARNING!! IS NOT POLITICALLY OR GRAMATICALLY CORRECT!! IF YOU ARE OFFENDED EASILY, CLICK THE BACK BUTTON NOW.
In relation to the latest topic of BP oil spill . . . here's soemthing I stole from a friend's facebook posting . . .
"o where are all the "Save the Gulf" concerts? Where are the T.V. Benefits with celebrities and musicians giving heart felt speeches on the poor fisherman, wildlife, beaches, loss of income and sabotaged gulf economy? I find it rather strange how these people are so quick to help Haiti and other countries...but sit on t...heir butts for this one. Just the facts."
And here's our Roving Ranters response . . .
I guess Bono had enough of NOLA during Katrina. Even HE was like "Goddamnfucking niggers FUCK!" after a while.
Most pop 'musicians' don't need the extra bump from a legitimate PR opportunity on this, I guess. they're too busy enjoying the summer with their heads in the sands and their asses nestled on parking cone sized buttplugs to give a shit. 'Let the Saints handle it!" I can hear them saying...No they only help when it's convenient, just like their fans do in everyday life. What I wanna know is where the fuck are all the country musicians that dry hump nationalism every chance they get on this? I mean, is the gulf coast NOT a aprt of Amerka all of a sudden? Country failed us during Katrina, they're failoing us again now.
Fuck man where's Willie Nelson? Doesn't he endorse corn fuel? Wouldn't he have a stake in this?
SOmeone tell Ed Begley Jr to pick up a fucking banjo or something.
http://www.houmatoday.com/article/20100607/FEATURES12/100609523?Title=Saints-will-visit-oil-affected-coast
And there you have it. I officially declare the saints the new bono.
Previous Topic
Topic to be tackled - The BP oil spill- Go!!!
Go? Go where? To an OPEC nation to share in the festivities? This is a huge victory for the daram al-Islam and I tip my hat to the sandies. But imagine if it was all an organized effort. Can you picture one poor, slack jawed desert-urchin in an early 1900s deep-diving suit with a big blue-black Legend of Zelda bomb? And a Chinese guy in a tiny bamboo helicopter hovering directly overhead, pumping lead-based oxygen (I have no idea how, but it seems appropriate) down to him. Anyway, I read a few things about the spill and I may have to read some more. I dunno though should i focus on the ramifications environmentally or economically, or industrially? Apparently there may actually be another big leak 5-6 miles away from the one we hear about, and also there are several dozen details about just how poorly the rig was being operated prior (like over the past year or so) to the accident, if it was an accident. Or I could just rant about how unsettling it is to know that a multibillion dollar corporation a)does not know it's ass from a leaky submarine hole in the ground and b) how they were not prepared for this type of occurrence YEARS before it happened. It makes me want to drive a steam powered, cast iron box of doom (shaped like a Cadillac El Dorado)
And build a big Dutch windmill to power my penguin chumming/frozen penguin skeet launching machine. Because yeah I have the blueprints for that machine, and why not? The world has been mad for fucking years and I am the product of that madness. I say we fill the "Deep Horizon" spill with nothing but live koalas. Just shove 'em in there with a ramrod attached to the nose of a submarine, like we're at assplay with Mother Nature and she just can't seem to climax. In fact that's my new favorite analogy:
"Assplay With Mother Nature! But WHEN Will She CLIMAX?"
That might be a good direction to go with rant from this. everything will be linked to my belligerent comparison to fisting a butthole in the floor of the gulf. Like be nice and journalistic for a touch then BAM change direction and talk about anal play. It's what Amerkins deserve. Fair and balanced madness. Maybe I can add simplified directions and costs to build one's own Dutch windmill. And added to the end : "Next month: Build your own Penguin Chummin/Frozen Penguin guts skeet launching machine!"
I thought of another interesting factor in the top kill thing they failed miserably on: Usually the mud comes out of the filthy greasy hole, BP tried to pump it back IN! You're supposed to use lubrication to pack the mud further in, not the other way around! Silly BP!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)